The final installment of my OBGYN muffin series: the consumption of which is the perfect mirror of birth. These will fit near entirely into your completely dilated mouth, occiput anterior, transverse, or occiput posterior. Easily in with one push. Belly after eating a full pan I’d say would be about a 20wks gestational age bump. Since this recipe makes two 12-cup pans, should bring you all the way to term. Don’t worry—I now know how to c-section. C, in this case, can be for cupcake.
Ginger Apple Muffins
Adapted from, yet again, the Penzey Spice catalogue
2 cups of apple sauce, and, if you want, another cup of chopped apple pieces (I hate chunks and so deferred to add)
3 large eggs, beaten
1 Cup olive oil
2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. almond extract (key!!)
1 cup granulated white sugar (2 cups if you’re not using apple sauce and just using plain old chopped apples)
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon (who am I kidding, I used two or three tablespoons)
2 tsp. crystallized ginger, chopped fine
3 Cups all-purpose flour
3/4 Cup all-purpose flour
1/4 Cup granulated white sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. crystallized ginger, chopped
6 TB. butter, cold and grated like cheese
Preheat oven to 350°. Grease or paper two muffin pans. Peel and chop the apples in 1/2-inch chunks. In a large bowl, beat the eggs with oil, vanilla, almond extract, applesausce and sugar until combined. Add flour, baking soda, salt, ginger and cinnamon. Beat until thoroughly mixed. The batter will be very, very thick. Fold in the chopped apples by hand. Spoon the very thick batter into the pans. To prepare the topping, combine butter, cut into chunks, flour, sugar, cinnamon and ginger in a small bowl. Rub between your fingers until combined. Sprinkle equal amounts of topping on each muffin – there is a lot of topping! Bake for about 20-25 minutes until firm. Let cool for 5 minutes before removing from the pans. Ooh, soooo good for breakfast with a hot cup of dark roast coffee.
I come home from my last night shift this week to find Izzy mocking me in the dorsal lithotomy position. She seems to think I’d make a great OB. There’s no way I’m going to pap smear a bulldog, I told her.